Around this computer somewhere are floating several back entries complete with discussions on St Augustin's religious views, bad Osama Bin Ladin jokes, and rambling IM conversations. And they shall never see the light of day.

Unlike this ketchup. Christ.

So we're sitting down -- err, going down to the basement to eat supper while looking for the Lakers game [actually i'm eating upstairs, but anyways] and we realize we have no ketchup to put on our french fries, which are a tasty compliment dish to our gyros, since french fries compliment damn near anything.

Refusing to admit defeat, we plunge into something a normal human being would never even consider: The big Chlorine Bucket of Stuff.

The Big Chlorine Bucket of Stuff once held pool chemicals, and has since been [hopefully] rinsed out and placed in our fridge, and now houses all those condiments you get from McDonalds, chinese resturants, prison, etc. and whenever you go procure food from one of these places, you always wind up with little packets that are

a] full of something no mortal person could ever consume and live, or

b] you get so many that if you were to actually use them all on your food, it would be more of a condiment with a side of giant whopper.

So we empty this thing on the counter, hoping that somewhere in the mismatched hub of chinese mustard, creme d'anchovie [i'm not kidding], soy sauce made solely of desiel fuel, taco sauce, and Famous Dave's Atomic Death In A Packet Sauce will be [hopefully] some lone ketchup packets looking for a home.

The plus -- we find some. The bad part -- a few of them appear to have been living in there since 1992. We have to coax them out of their recliners with the temptinf offer of a long-legged blonde fry named MiZtress Crinkkle. So if, as I'm sitting here on the computer, I DON'T go completely insane from the bad music, I'll be sure to expire from food poisoning.

Ahh, the music. Allow me to explain.

Every year, and acquaintance of my fathers, a Mr. Mark Copenhaven puts out a collection [this year comprising of 4 cds] of the Worlds Worst Christmas Music. Gleefully, this year's copy arrived in November, allowing me some shibby christmas cheer [which i shall discuss later, as it leads into my Brigade]. Now, in my world there are 3 types of Bad Christmas Music:

1] BAD-bad.

This is the music that is just so awful to begin with that you wonder how anyone can listen to it for more than five minutes, nevermind spending an ungodly ammount of time writing/recording it. You know what i'm talking about. Pop stars trying to spread a little cheer and failing spectacularly, people playing the piano so souped up that you want to torch their Yamaha, and random choruses belting out stuff like "Here comes santa clause", which is a fun song, but some asshole has "re-written it" so theres harmony that sucks, random interludes, and so many tempo-changes it feels like indecisive sex [FAST! No, slow...how 'bout middle? No! Fast!]

2] Overused-bad

In July, "We wish you a merry christmas" is my favorite song. Come december, when every single damn department store has it on loop on their tinny sound system, I'm ready to methodically excecute anyone singing along. These are the songs that are great in moderation, but since EVERYBODY plays them because their classic and their too cheap to spring for a different cd than all the other stores in the mall, you have people jumping out of the little glass panel in the elevator and landing with a sickening splat on the floor below, much to the shock of delight of the orphans on a mall feild trip to see Santa -- all because the elevator was piping "I'll be home for christmas" sung so souped up you could stick a spoon in it and serve it with a sprig of paresly and some of those people i methodically excecuted.

3] Sing-along Songs

These actually aren't bad. These are the songs that are so incredibly fun to sing along with that you can easily do it anytime, anywhere, and have about 3 other people randomly join in. They do include "We wish you a merry christmas", but since the tune is right up there with "Little Bunny Foo-foo", any idiot can join in. It's great to be going down the halls randomly singing sing-along christmas tunes and have people you don't even know join in.

4] Good ones

Yes, the fourth of the trio. Good christmas songs. These rare jems can be any of the above songs, but they have to be preformed by somebody who knows what the hell their doing. Handels "alleluia chorus" [which is one of the most bitching-fun songs to sing EVER] and the Trans-Siberian Orchestra's thing they did with the electric guitars spring to mind. Speaking of which, Mimi, could you download the TSO's Xmas thing? It was basically the carol of the bells on electric guitar and some thing else. All I remember was that I loved it to death.

Now -- Why am i on a christmas tangent? Well, because I love christmas more than any other holiday out there. not because of the Christmas part -- I take a stance similar to Die's -- The stuff leading up to the fact -- the snow, the songs, the decorating of the tree, the cookies and carols and warm fires and froofy jackets and wearing mittens with strings on them and weird hats and going shopping and going to see the datons christmas show and window shopping just because it's fun and pretty, and hide in a santa outfit and making snow angels and wrapping presents and hot chocolate -- those are my favorite things in the world. Plus giving people presents -- I went off on this whole tangent about that this morning, because I gave Rob 2 cds I had made just for him and I just love giving people stuff because it's so much fun and I feel all happy and trippy and am in a good mood for a good while after that. So yeah, I like Christmas a hell of a lot.

Especially when you make hot chocolate and then stick a candy cane in it, and then do absolutely nothing the entire day. Thats gotta be the best part.

So anyways, I was in a HUGE christmas mood today, and was sproinking down the hall with katie blathering on about it, when Mr. Rose [my middle school history sensei] walks by and shoots me down and says it's only november. So i yelled at him, and we went to lunch.

Today the freshmen were on a retreat for Religion, so we basically had a huge chunk of the table for the 2 of us and it was really trippy but the stupid sophmores near us wouldn't talk to me and yeah. Anyways, because we saw Mr. Rose we were reminiscing about middle school, and we were talking about how we used to swing dance in his class.

Ok, so one day this chick Kelly deicdes that katie laura and I need to learn to swingdance. So she taught us, and we would swingdance all the time. Mr. Rose had this map thingy on wheels that was always falling over, and we decided that since it was mobile, we should swingdance with it.

I decided at lunch today to form the Return To Middle School Swingdance Map Brigade, where we are going to go back to his room, find the map, and swingdance with it, nevermind that we sorta forgot how to swingdance. I figure we'll learn again real fast tomorrow before school.

Ohh -- One more thing. After school I sit in Brian's car waiting for him to take me home, i whip out the cell phone and make calls. Usually to Mimi, since I know I'll get her answering machine and I can leave random spastic messages a couple times. So if anyone is feeling bored and wants a message, let me know because kami-sama only knows I have enough time on my hands.

-shuu

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOSHIKI!!! WHOOOOOOOO!!!

- -

This is the way we skip and skip, lalala, lalala -

THE JUSTICE HOLE; STANDBY FOR SUPER CREDITS -

mumble mice of the fourth planet -

I am the person pouring my beer into your bunny slippers -