Complete order had been restored.

"Complete order has been restored." Bloody X2 glared at the assembled crew, who, only moments before, had been a complete gibbering mess. Now they were all seated in the Official Pirate Assembly Hall. At a nice, orderly assembly, naturally. "Now I want us as a crew to conduct ourselves in a calm manner." He had lost his scottish accent somewhere in the storm, but figured it would turn up again eventually.

It was now 3:30 am. Aiji yawned at the back of the room and wondered how long it would be before he could go back to bed. Bloody X2 launched into a big speech about how grateful they all were for the guidence of the Supreme Dieties Kami and Hide, who were now seated in the Honerable Persons chairs at the front of the room. As Bloody X2 spoke (his accent gradually trickling back through the windows-that-never-were) Kami gave a huge yawn and fell off his chair, dead asleep. Hide was more occupied in a tickle-fit-reuinion with Yoshiki and Pata. It was a big chair, ok? Hide used his bishie-magic that he got on Mars (with Kami and Kazuki ^^) to make the chair nice and big and accomidating.

Eventually, everybody was fast asleep (with the excepting of the tickling, which had progressed into something much more kinky) in their chairs. Awww, lookkit all da widdle bishies (and one Snargly Pirate) all fast alseep and blowing snot bubbles!! How cuuuuuuute!!

_________

Toshiya swallowed, made a horrible face, hacked once into his sleeve and sighed, patting his tummy. "Mouuuu...that tasted....mouuuuuuuu...."

"Totchi." Die stared at him.

"What, whaddya want?"

"Totchi. You *ate* my *mask*. That was *my* *mask*. And you *ate* it."

"Die-kun shouldn't cover up his beautiful face with stupid leather mask." snorted Toshiya. "Tasted like beef jerky, in case you were wondering."

"You *could* have saved some for me." Shinya pouted. Toshiya patted his head and gave him a kiss. "Sorry, Shinchan. I'll split his shirt with you."

"No!!" Die sweatdropped and backed away as best he could from the hungry bishies he was chained to. "You can't eat my shirt!! I happen to enjoy this shirt very much!!"

"*We'll* enjoy it much more!!" Shinya and Toshiya pounced, relieving Die of his shirt and gnawing on it. Die sighed forlornly and hugged his knees to his chest. He hoped they would be fed soon.

_________

*GRRRRRRNNNNNNCHHHHH!!!!!*

Miyabi jumped awake, rolling over Furu and Ryuichi and stepping on Mayu (Whoops!! Sorry Mayu!!) "Whaaa!! Whazzat!!" J and Yu~ki disengangled themselves and ran up to the deck to see what the hell had happened.

"Oh my GOD!!" Yu~ki bounded back downstairs.

"Present!!" chirped Kami (can we see Kami chirping? [paints little birdie wings on kami] MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!)

Yu~ki ignored this very bad pun which will probably repeat itself throughout the entire goddamn story. "We crashed!! We've run aground!!" he thought for a moment. "Ya know, that WOULD explain why the entire ship is lilting a good 30 degrees to port...Oh well!! The point is, LAND HO!!"

"OH!!" Sugizo smashed his fist into his palm. "The Cruise Control!! I KNEW there was something I forgot!!" Izam fwapped him soundly on the head and got fwapped back. Taka would have called a foul on Sugizo for Uncalled-For-Retribution-Fwapping and given him a yellow card, but since Izam was supposed to be steering the boat and he *wasn't*, this was ok.

"This is soooooo cool!! We found a place to run away to!!" Kyo grinned happily. "D'you think that maybe hide will help us save Die an' Shinya an' Totchi?"

Kaoru shrugged. "Maybe. He'll probably side with Yoshiki, and lets not forget that Yo-chan is still pissed at you for calling him a "decrepit-nitpicky-wombat-chuck-bat-barf-head", if I may quote."

"But he WAS being a bat-barf-head!!" whined Kyo. "I'm not gonna sit by and let people be bat-barf-heads without them knowing it!! Think of the damage that could do for thier psyche!!" Seeing the LOOK he was getting, he added sulkily, "an' Snuffles agrees with me. Besides, he was picking on the way I sang."

Kaoru thought about it, decided it wasn't really worth fighting over, and sighed. "Well, I guess we should join the throngs then, ne?"

"OK!"

The aforementioned throngs of pirates were now heading up to the deck, to see where the heck they had landed, and if their was anything crazy sexy cool to be had on their landing spot. Bloody X2 surveyed the lay of the land with his nifty telescoping...uh...telescope, which he had gotten mail order from the back of a comic book (Captain Postage Stamp vs The Megatronic Bogroks of Jupiter, issue 2894)

Levin jumped off of the boat and landed on the sand. The entire beach was covered in palm trees and coconuts and sand and crabs and octopi and all sorts of other stereotypical Island Goodies. Ray had already grouped together a band of bishies (bwahahahaha) to forrage for food, and they were now making their way into a nice, secluded, dimly-lit, lush part of jungle. HEH.

"Ya know, maybe this *IS* Lawnchair Island and we just got really lucky!!" Levin squinted in the sun. "Ya think? Maybe?"

Hide stopped making a sand angel long enough to check his watch, kick some sand in Yoshiki's swimsuit (MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! WE ALL KNOW WHICH SWIMSUIT I SPEAK OF!!! BRUHAHA!!) and spin around in a circle. "NOPE! This isn't Lawnchair Island, not by a long shot."

"Ehh, so where be we?" Bloody X2 was having some difficulties, as his peg leg kept sinking in the sand.

"Dunno." hide shrugged and and went back to doodling and writing obscenitites in the sand with a pointed stick. Kami looked up from where he was noshing on a coconut (and slathering on SPF 1000 sunscreen to keep that lovely gothic look) and grinned evilly.

"Actually...I guess we should tell you...theres no such place as Lawnchair Island. It never was. It never will be. It simply *ISN'T*."

"WHAAAAAT!!! HOW CAN THIS BEEEEEEEEE!!" [bishies collapse dramatically in the sand in spotlights] "NOOOOOOOO!!!"

"Sorry!! We thought you knew!" Hide laughed. "Then again, we KNEW that you thought it DID exist but we also KNEW that it DIDN'T, so maybe this is our fault, but we only got here last night so you'll JUST HAVE to forgive us, I guess ^____^." As everybody else tried to figure out how to pronouce a smiley, Bloody X2 did some fast non-thinking. That is, he flipped to chapter 29-B of his Pirate Handbook to figure out what the hell he was supposed to do in this situation, since he didn't have a brain and therefore had no clue whatsoever.

"Arrrgghh...well, mateys, it looks like what we do in this situation is the Captain...that'd be me...goes off on an expidition to find natives with attractive young people that we can make our slaves." He looked around, his eyes settling on Kyo, who was trying to catch a lobster for his zoo. "YOU!! BONDAGE SLAVE!! Yer comin' wi' ME, see? We shall return by nightfall with slaves an' all dat other good stuff, aye!!"

"But --" Kyo didn't stand a chance. Bloody X2 grabbed him by the back of the collar and dragged him off into the jungle to search for something they had no idea what they were searching for. And that was just about the most gramatically incorrect sentence in this chapter, disregarding this one. "YAAAAGGGHH!! STOPPIT!! ONEGAI!!" Kyo thought desperately. "WAIT!! Don’t we need someone else to go with us?" The idea of having the title "Bondage Slave" and being dragged off into the lush, secluded jungle by a snargly pirate all alone was not what Kyo had in mind.

"Errrr....’k....YOU!!!" Bloody X2 pointed randomly into the crowd. "Yer comin’ with us!!"

"Ahhh, ok..." You stepped forward, even though he wasn’t the one Bloody X2 was pointing at. [hums say my name nasally ^^] Everybody blinked, shook their heads, and went back to whatever they were doing, as Bloody X2 led his reluctant band of 2 people to explore the jungle. Nevermind that Ray and his band of bishies was already doing this same.

_________

"BLACK SOCKS, they never get dirty, the longer you wear ‘em, the blacker they get....SOME DAY I think that I’ll wash ‘em but something inside me says TAKE ‘EM OFF AN EAT ‘EM!!!" Toshiya and Shinya tackled Die, who kicked and squeeked in protest.

"My socks are WHITE!! WHITE I TELL YOU!!"

But that didn’t matter. Toshiya snarfed down the left sock, Shinya snarfed down the right one. Die edged as far away from them as possible, huffing. "How come is it that it’s *my* clothes and I don’t get to eat any?"

Toshiya patted him on the head. "There there, come on Die. Eating your own clothes just to stay alive...theres something kinda twisted and wrong about that, doncha think?"

"You CAN’T have any more of MY clothes, got that?"

Blink. Blink. Blink. Evil Blink. Blink.

[die sweatdrop]

_________

"--and I’m hot and sticky and tired and my feet hurt and --"

"Oh for the love of god, try and have a LITTLE more pride!!" Kyo and You glared at Bloody X2, who was complaining again. Kyo sighed and climbed up a tree to eat some coconuts and see if he could figure out where the hell they were.

"What exactly are we looking for again?"

"Try a giant city with gold!" snapped Bloody X2. Kyo stood on the very top of the tree on a little moon-viewing platform. Now it was a city of gold-viewing platform, so Kyo wiped out the little whiteboard sign that said "moon viewing", and changed it to say "Yoshiki is a decrepit-nitpicky-wombat-chuck-bat-barf-head." Then he climbed back down.

"We go this way!!!" And all of a sudden Kyo has taken control of the grand procession into the jungle.

_________

Consider the following for the next chapter --

1) Kyo has somehow become Leader

2) Just what island is this anyways, if it isn't Lawnchair Island?

3) Kami and Hide have been left in control of a bunch of Bishies on the Beach. And Yoshiki is with them. Trouble is inevitable.

4) We still have no idea where exactly Yu~ki acquired that dismembered head, or who it *really* belongs to.

5) A suspicious someone has just climbed up on the Moon-Viewing platform, and discovered to his great disgruntlement that someone has been messing around up here.

6) Ray and company (Machi, Mask, Mana, Mayu, Miyabi, and for some reason Niy and Kisaki) are still wandering the jungle on a yet-to-be-known quest.

7) Toshiya, Die, and Shinya are forgotten in the prison of the ship. Die is now down to his boxers

8) Where the hell did Kaoru go?

- -

This is the way we skip and skip, lalala, lalala -

THE JUSTICE HOLE; STANDBY FOR SUPER CREDITS -

mumble mice of the fourth planet -

I am the person pouring my beer into your bunny slippers -