this usually happens right before they lock you up and diagnose you with a severe case of the Screaming Meemies.

my wallpaper is waterproof

but getting back to that, consider if you were a person who did the crossword puzzel every damn day of your life. maybe one day you're sitting there and you see a clue that says "your grandmother's nationality" and you fill in "norwegian" or whatever and it works. if it's a monday puzzel, you'll probably not notice it. but think -- how did they know that your grandmother was norwegian? are they magical? or just robots? are you the only person on the planet who does the crossword puzzels for real?

crazy.

now lets talk about my new favorite subject, BDSM. i'm hoping this will be a long rant but since my keyboard is in the dishwasher so i have to use the uncomfy built in one [sorry kamuii i love ya baby] i might get annoyed with sore wrists and stop. but i'll try.

so anyways, for some reason justin and i were on the subject of personal slaves and what exactly being a personal slave entails. this lead us to such website jems such as goddessangel.com and...mmm, what was the other one mimi? anyways, there was this other really spiffila one that caused me to laugh hysterically, especailly the part where she was talking about how her new improved dungeon was going to have a "super bendy sleeping cage"

now, i'm familiar with what a cage is. i know how to sleep. the concept of super bendy is a strech [ooo bad pun] but i think i can grasp it. but...a Super Bendy Sleeping Cage? Well, obviously you sleep in the cage, but what part of the cage is super bendy? the bars? you could just bend them out and escape, so it wouldn't be much of a cage. maybe theres something IN this cage that is super bendy, but they're not telling you what it is. or maybe a "bendy" is a thing, and this happens to be a bendy of the super variety. the possibilities are endless.

or maybe it's a cage thats so bendy you can fold it up like a stroller [or pram, if you will] and put it in your car or something

anways, after you kill yourself laughing at the ridiculous demands and unfortunately "altered-in-all-the-wrong-spots"-type bodies on display, you find yourself at the gates of hell itself -- the serious explination of how to be the most pleasing slave in the universe.

now comes the part i don't get. looking at both the Serious Requirements of being a slave [setting goals, working for the master, how to stand/sit/kneel/address onesself or others/what to wear/etc] and apply that to the rules being set by the Personal websites [no drugs, no penetration, play parties, buy me at least $250 worth of presents, etc] i can't really figure out the appeal. contrary to what i was thinking before i read all this stuff, the sexual element isn't really that predominant. true, sex is used as both punishment and reward, but does not seem to be the main goal of the relationship. it looks like the master gets a feeling of power, and the slave gets taken care of as long as she gives up all free will. see, this is exactly the situation that got that nice mr. hitler in all that trouble.

the personal websites [which are literally impossible to navigate without laughing] appear that the attention-starved individuals who's parents probably locked them in a closet as a child just want a pimp [ie someone to buy them gifts] but at the same time THEY'RE the pimp because they're the one in control and they're the one getting the money. so essentially a slave in this situation [seriously, go to goddessangel.com and flurble around. it's hysterical] is a pimp owned by another pimp, who [pimp #1] only pimps to the pimp who owns him/her.

hahahah. pimpimpimpimpimp. what a great word. it means nothing to me now after saying it five times. wahahaha.

and it is now the next morning because predictably i got bored plus i'm sicker than a very sick frog who has just ingested a massive ammount of sick pills ><

my dad just asked me what i want for christmas, i said purple or green contacts, or one of those computer-teach-me-japanese programs or if you're feeling anti-japanese, a french one. meh, i should have asked for a rabbit. i want a rabbit, yo.

i have formulated a new plan since i know absolutely no nihongo, nor do i have a handy character recognition dealy on my computer [i tried so hard though!! stupid installer-thing wouldn't work!!] i'm just gonna go around to random nihonjin websites and swipe their graphics and shibby them up so i can have lovely, utterly random phrases displayed on my pages. or maybe i could photoshop them into individual characters so i could write very own gramatically incorrect sentences! oh, what rapture! what joy! first stop - parakiss sites.

it's great how half the parakiss sites are in italian for some reason, and you get to see all these cool cognates like "glapponais". laughed my pathetical ass off at that one. so from now on, it shall no longer be known as japanese. i shall either address it as nihongo, or glapponais.

if you will recall a long-ass time ago i had some sort of reference in an entry description where i was mumbling something about aubergines. well, the fucker shows up on my french test [translate to english] and you'd think i'd know it meant "eggplant" but all i could come up with was "aubergine means....aubergine!!" and then i drew a little Magic Marker Bandito on the bottom and let that be that.

-shuu

- -

This is the way we skip and skip, lalala, lalala -

THE JUSTICE HOLE; STANDBY FOR SUPER CREDITS -

mumble mice of the fourth planet -

I am the person pouring my beer into your bunny slippers -