| washu-chan | |
n a v i g a t e
c o n t a c t
r e a d s
|
<<02.01.04 4:37>> in celebration of not losing a bunch of files, i'm posting something i wrote a long time ago, and then wrote a bunch more of today because it made me laugh. The idea came after i realized [last summer] that the only books i was reading were quasi-romances about independent 20-30something single jewish women in New York. I'm not kidding. I didn't even try, and all of a sudden I realize they're all about single jewish chicks with flashy jobs and hot guys. it was scary. So i titled this one Bodice Ripper, even though it's far past the era where people wore bodices in all seriousness, althought Shinya might get one just for the novelty of having it torn off. or whatever. 1] The double doors of the penthouse office swung open, admitting the young-yet-powerful Terachi Shinya, the brightest and most ambitious paralegal in the firm. This spacious office with a view was just the latest in a long string of perks that had graced the ball-busting Shinya over the last few weeks. One of the brass obviously had taken a shine to Shinya, though the paralegal didn't like to think of it that way. Obviously his absolute dedication to work was paying off, he would tell himself. All those long nights in the office, all the paperwork, it was worth it. Now he could sit back and, well, work his ass off some more. Shinya: [barks something offical and paralegal-ish] Undersecretary Kamiru [Emiru and Kamijo's illegitimate offspring]: [rushes to do his bidding] Yes, Shinya had a bunch of little hot jrocky-kiddies to do his bidding, he had money, power, blah blah blah, but sometimes, it just felt so... Shinya: Lonely. It feels lonely. [stares out the window] Sometimes i feel like a ship in the harbor, tied down by an anchor and chain, yet free to sail, if only I could find my wings... Kamiru: o.o;;;;; I think you mean find your sails Shinya: SHUT UP, UNDERLING!!! What he's trying to say is, it feels like maybe there is a hole in his life. Could it be...love? ...........nah.. Kamiru: Ano, Shinya-sama. Phone call for you. Shinya: 'Allo? Very Loud Voice on the Phone: SHINYAAAAAAAAA!!! Yes, it was Shinya's painfully unemployed yet perky roommate, Chirolyn. The exact opposite of Shinya, Chirolyn had a happy outlook on life and had no cares whatsoever, other than pawning enough of Shinya's posessions to pay his half of the rent. Shinya: Why hello my perky roommate who obviously has no understanding of how much work I should be doing right now! But I shall talk with you because we are best friends and must gab over coffee about how wonderful our respective lives are! Chirolyn: What you said! Anyways, I just wanted to remind you that I'm going away for a week on a happy-go-lucky vacation with some hot guy in the typical fashion of my stock "best friend" character! So in otherwords you will have our lucious apartment ALL TO YOUR LONELY SELF for an ENTIRE WEEK. Shinya: Could this be a hint for me to realize how empty my life is and perhapse further the plot by trying to fill it with a titillating romace? Or two? Kamiru: ........nah. Shinya: NOBODY ASKED YOU, KAMIRU!! BACK TO WORK!! Chirolyn: See, thats your problem. You need to loosen up a bit. You know, get some sort of romantical interust. Shinya: errr....no? How 'bout you hanging up the phone now so I can get back to my life? Chirolyn: But see, there it is again. You're miserable becuase you don't HAVE a life other than working, which basically consists of you ordering Kamiru around. You could at least screw him or something. Kamiru: o.O EW!!! Chirolyn/Shinya: SHUT UP OR NO CHRISTMAS BONUS!!! Kamiru: T___T waaaaaaaahhhh.... Chirolyn: Anywho, I should go pack all my fun colorful clothing into a bunch of suitcases, so that when you get home our studio apartment is all stark and colorless and will make you feel properly miserable about yourself, thus causing you to re-evaulate your life and have some wacky hijinks and adventures and get laid, which is what the readers all want. Shinya: Ok, Best Friend in the Whole Wide World. I will take your subtle-to-the-point-of-being-nonexistent suggestions into account, although I have been pre-programmed to be somewhat insecure beneath my over cynical exterior, which will only add dimension to the Finding My True Self plot-thread. Chirolyn: Super! I'm off, good luck with being miserable! Shinya: Stop using that word! Shinya slams the phone down, but in a nice sort of way. He runs a hand through his lucious mane of perfectly curled auburn hair, completely unaware of how attractive he looks. He stands for a moment in a picturesque shaft of sunlight, feeling an unfamiliar happy thrumming in his thoracic cage. Yes, a week to be alone, a week to have an adventure, to discover oneself... Yet-to-be-introduced-plot device: [BANGS ON THE DOOR] Shinya: [jumps nervously] Yes? Ah, um....You may enter my domain! Bwahahahaha! Kamiru opens the magnificent oak doors to admit the one person in the whole entire world that Shinya can't stand the most [Leonardo DiCaprio notwithstanding]. Kamiru trips over the terrible grammer structure of the previous sentence, but nobody notices because Hakuei has just entered the room, and he's all sexy and gorgeous and all that nonsense. Shinya: [snidely] Oh. It's just you. Hakuei: [disarming smile] Why my dear Shin-chan, whats with the attitude? Surely you don't hate me just because I'm newly hired to the firm and yet I'm making just as much if not more as you, who has been busting your ass for almost 8 years? Or could it be that I'm infinately more attractive and have an easier time schmoozing up to the brass? Kamiru: [from the floor] or could it be that you've spent so much time on your knees that you-- Hakuei: SHUT UP, PERSON I BARELY KNOW!! [steps on Kamiru's head] Kamiru: X_x Shinya: No, wait, what was that? I think for once Kamiru was about to say something I was interusted in hearing... Kamiru: [voice muffled by carpet] Well, word is that Hakuei has been blowing-- Hakuei: [applies his full weight downwards] Kamiru: Mmmmrrph!! Shinya: [looses interust in Kamiru's plight] Well. Anyways, what is it that you want, Hakuei? If you are about to offer me a vacation that just so happens to be this week when I have no other obligations, I will tell you exactly where you can shove it... Hakuei: Actually, by an extraordinary stroke of coincidence... Shinya: SHIT Hakuei: ...we have both been assigned to go on a tropical vacation that has nothing to do with our work other than that the company is paying for it. Shinya: Where do we work again? Hakuei: I have no idea. Shinya: Two things. First off, I hate your guts. You make me sick, the chances of us having romantic hijinks are ZERO, they will never happen, we are totally uncompatible, and I reiterate hating your guts just to be on the safe side. Second, where are we going? Hakuei: Well actually, I have entertained romancing you in the back of my mind for quite a while... Kamuri: TMI!!! Hakuei: ...but have never acted upon it due to my professional nature and the fact that I am actually a shy person who is unaware of your feelings and wary of your fridgid exterior. And we're going to Bora-bora. There is a pregnant pause. Suddenly, another plot device runs into the room. Mana: Did I just hear someone say BORA-BORA?!! Shinya/Kamiru: Who the hell are you? Mana: I'm Hakuei's younger sister...or brother...or something. And I just happen to have a condo in Bora-bora [what a stroke of luck!] and I would be happy to put you up for a week and wow, hey, you're a real looker there Mr. Shinya. Maybe I should set you up with my brother, who has had bad luck in love for too long? Kamiru/Shinya/Hakue: ........nah! Hakuei: I wonder why exactly we are going to Bora-bora? Mana: Because it's fun to say! [begins dancing][sing-song voice] Bora-bora-bora-bora-bora-bora-bora-bora-bora-bora.... Hakuei: [smacks him] Enough! Shinya sighs, and wonders what powers of the universe have destined him to have such a random existance. Certainly it couldn't be the mind of a bored person. No, of course not. Pushing back a migrane, he resigns himself to spending the week with someone he hates, an annoying sister/brother/whatever, and a subservient underling, all for no particular reason other than it is a plot device and the author who doesn't exist [in his mind] deemed it to be so. - - This is the way we skip and skip, lalala, lalala - THE JUSTICE HOLE; STANDBY FOR SUPER CREDITS - |